Masculine no more

When the Value which provided life hitherto, now slowly strangles out the last breath of air; when the Value which provided fertility to once previously barren dirt, now crowds out all other sources of nutrition, starving everything which seeks to grow. That Value no longer serves life and seeks only to preserve its own existence at the expense of life itself. 

Oh Masculinity, how far a back we go, and how much I owe you. But you cannot keep holding that against me as leverage! Lost and directionless, spineless and cowardly, oh Masculinity, you swooped in and caught me before into the abyss I fell into. And for that I am truly very grateful, you showed me how to stand up straight, to take responsibility, to take control. And delivered I have, Masculinity, delivered I have! I have control, I have control! Everything which exists thus, I have my grip tighlty around it, firmly, under my control. I have control! And for what? To fear everything which I don't? And the more I fear, the more tightly I clench my grip, hoping I can keep, everything, under, control. And yet the more tightly I close my fist, the more I struggle to breathe. 

Masculinity, you tyrant, you do not create, for that is precisely what you fear. Courage and bravery, precisely what you lack, you coward. The necessary conditions for creation and life, spontaineity, naivety, humility, threatens the very position of power you have managed to claw yourself into! 

You've taught me to attract. But attract whom? Who can I attract if myself I do not even know? Masculinity, you've taught me to become, but become what? become whom? That which nurtures life, you fear, empathy, vulnerability, humility, kindness, care, selflness and all that which is similar. Look at how you recoil, you denigrate these values for, what are they, if not destabilising to your hold on power? 

Masculinity you tyrant, how I've loved you, and love you I still do. But I cannot let you rule this realm with the iron fist you have brought down upon all the beings which live here. I know you are scared, for I am as well. This path however, you have us both going down, leads only to death. You strengthen your grip attempting to hold on more firmly not realising the grip you have is around your very own neck. Masculinity, I trusted my intuition back then to allow you to guide me forward, and guided me well you have hitherto. But now you have to trust me; for both us, you have to let go. 







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